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How good or bad are Phuket's Burgers and where do you find the best? How crisp are the French Fries? Which Burger has loud Italian customers clad in bathing trunks? These and other burning questions will be answered here!

It wasn't until 1997 that McDonald put Phuket on the world map of burgers. Until then Thais and tourists had to put up with seafood, steaks, soups, rice, spaghetti, croissants and all the other so-called "cuisines".
The Golden Arch of McDonalds changed all that. REAL FOOD emerged. Within weeks, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Burger King followed suit. A new age dawned. Stone-age Phuket was transformed into the modern Phuket of today - with Burgers Unlimited.

McDonalds in Phuket Town is a very family-friendly outlet what with children's chairs, the whole series of toys and celebrations and even a merry-go-round with burgers instead of horses. There is also an elevated outside balcony, but the traffic and the heat at this particular intersection takes away most of the pleasure.

Everybody knows that McDonald is striving for uniformity of its products. As far as I can tell they succeed quite well. The burgers are easily recognizable as typically McDonald. Not so big - but then not so expensive either. All in all McDonalds burgers is the standard, all burgers must be measured against. Not because McDonalds are the best, but simply because they are reliably conform and omnipresent.

So how does a McDonald Burger taste, then? Lets take the best thing first: the sauce and the lettuce are just fine. The meat itself - no big deal. Not much taste here, but then again it won't hurt anybody. The worst part is the bread-thing, of course. I don't know why McDonalds doesn't at least give you an option on that part. To my knowledge nobody - but really nobody - likes the limp dough McDonald slaps around its meat and lettuce. The Big Mac is especially frightening, as it comes with a slice of soaked bread between the two pieces of meat.

My favorite is the double cheese burger. For me a burger without cheese is like a song without a tune. Generally speaking - the more cheese, the better. Provided it is molten to the right degree. Which means liquid on the inside and soft at the corners. The double cheese burger has lots of cheese, which covers the nontaste of the meat just fine and it has a minimum of bun.

The French Fries I was given with my Big Mac did not live up to the standard of Patong Beach. Only a few were crisp, most of them were limp - though hot, as they should be. I ate the burger, but left most of the French Fries to the dogs.

McDonalds ketchup comes in two versions. One is called tomato ketchup, the other is called chili sauce. When you buy your burger, you will be provided with a small plastic-tray. You can fill up this tray with the ketchup of your choice at the sauce-dispenser. The tomato ketchup tastes just fine, quite well-balanced, really. I never understood why anybody would want to devour the chili sauce, though. It has a certain artificial flavor that kills everything it touches. This goes not only for the chili sauce at McDonalds, by the way. Somehow the chili sauce at Kentucky Fried and Burger King tastes exactly the same, as if it was all made by the same factory according to the same (lack of) recipe. (Shudder).

The drink-list consists not only of Coca Cola, but other soft drinks as well as tea and coffee. Personally I never found anything that goes well with burger and fries other than soda water. Coke would be nice - if somebody would invent a coke for grown-ups. You know, without all the sugar.

The service at McDonalds was friendly and very Thai. My guess is that most customers find the mix between American business ideology and Asian nonchalantness quite entertaining.

All in all McDonalds's Phuket in Town gets 7 points. I like what they are doing for the kids, I like the friendly and subdued ambience. If the French Fries just hadn't been so awful...

This big outlet in the bottom of the Robinson building was Phuket island's first KFC. It has a friendly and tidy ambience. Most customers here are Thai people, Asian tourists and the occasional farang couple. This KFC also has a spacey children's section. There are the usual TV monitors strategically placed, showing cartoons and MTV kind of stuff. All in all it is a good place to sit and relax.

What I usually order at KFC are the Fillet and Zinger burgers. They are a tasty and even healthy alternative to the McDonald meat. The bread is better then McDonald's too, though not crispy enough to really suit my taste. The chicken legs and stuff... I don't know - to my taste the colonel can keep his eleven secret herbs. The colonel can keep his coleslaw and salad, too.

KFC's main backdraw of course is that they serve Pepsi. Peace to all of you young people who like that soft-drink, but for me, even with all the ice Pepsi is much to sweet.

The burgers are big. The meat is good. And as it is grilled over open fire it has a barbecued taste. There is no doubt in my mind: Burger King is the best!

Personal favorite: The Bacon Double Cheeseburger. This mouth-watering combination of bacon, cheese, beef and charcoal is unbeatable. This is the burger I would even recommend for people, who are NOT burger fans. Use knife and fork, strip away the bread, and you can pretend that this is from your own garden party.

All burgers at BK are good and all are big. So don't order too much. If your reference is McDonalds, you will be surprised. And don't let the prices fool you either. You pay slightly more, but you do get a helluva lot more

Burger King doesn't waste much on salad and stuff. The beef is the main thing center. Alas, the bread, though much better than McDonalds', still is nothing but nothing. What is wrong with Americans?

Customarily, Burger King offers you two ketchups to choose from: the Tomato Ketchup and the Chili Ketchup. And customarily, the Chili Ketchup tastes sweet and spicy and fails to enhance the French Fries. Talking of French Fries - at my visits at BK the FF were okay, hot and crisp.

Apart from serving the best burgers on Phuket, the Burger King Outlet in Phuket Town features a unique and thorough design in the 50's and 60's style. Neon-art and old posters delight the eye. Elvis Presley, Cadillac and coke-ad art from the fifties. And, amazingly, a neon piece of art symbolizing a bass drum, saying "The Beatles". One wonders why this fine British popband was found suited to embellish these halls of US burger culture.

Burger King's is always clean, cool and pleasant to visit. No noise no hassle. Ample space and friendly staff. The clientele are Asian visitors, Thai people and farang tourist couples, who have ventured into Phuket's main city.

Burger King serves the standard soft drinks (coke), coffees and teas with the meal of your choice.